It’s Sharp Edges

This was written back in 2011, I was mentally depressed & I wanted to share this with everyone. No one should ever experience life this way. If you or anyone suspect anything please find help.

No one should ever suffer from ” Depression “.

Not a child.

Not an adult.

Not even me.

You see i was born underneath the word ” Depression “.

My life has out numbered that.

All the moving.

All the fails.

All the loss.

When I was younger i had this devastation of having a family.

I never knew what that meant.

I went by me, Myself.

No mother.

No father.

Traveling  has worsened me.

It was never going to get better.

I didn’t know how to control it.

Survive it.

Or

To live it.

I was alone.

With no one to run to.

No one understood what my worst has been.

Neither did none care.

No one but a ” Blade” .

It doesn’t matter where it came from.

A  knife,  scissors, glass,or plastic.

As long it had its sharp edge’s.

Because the way we connect , Is unbearable to understand.

Once  the blade connects to my skin, it unbearable to leave it alone.

The sharp ends connects so lovely against my skin.

Almost like love at first sight.

When the blade is brushed back and forth against my wrist .

It’s an exciting moment .

The edge’s loosen’s up and rip’s my skin apart.

You see blood flowing rapidly onto the surface.

As it glides in deeper.

The pain gets more intense.

The Blood dripping.

My mind sinking.

I’m getting dizzy.

I’m going to faint.

But worth it.

Because then all the pain is gone.

My shirt gets soaked with blood all over.

But its okay.

The washer comes in handy.

It washes the evidence.

Yet it hides, The impossible.

My deep dark secrets of being an intellectual cutter.

My feelings and thoughts unsaid.

but done.

I do it anywhere at anytime.

In the closet.

My bedroom.

In the shower,

The bathroom.

At the park , when the day goes dark.

As tears stroll down my face.

My face redden’s in hate.

The thought of being alive.

The thought of going through this.

Unatural.

Not pleasing.

But shameless.

As day’s go by i look at the scars .

Remembering for which event each happened and why?.

The scar’s made a promise.

To heal when it’s in  pain.

To seal the heart-break and broken promise’s.

To hide them behind a wall where i can’t get to them nor reach it.

The Situation is still in my head.

But in my eyes i took care of it.

All the sadness, Put to waste.

All the hate, put to recycle.

The sharp edges was my only friend.

It showed  a different way to handle life.

I was able to take matter’s into my own hand’s.

I saw light.

I saw me.

It was a challenge.

But it took care of me.

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